Risk Taker. Earth Shaker. Change Maker. Rule Breaker.
These words, written as an inspirational quote in my Lorna Jane diary is a true reflection of the person I became this year. In all aspect of my life, especially in my career. With the help of the Lorna Jane Diary, here’s my reflections for the 2018, the Year of Growth.
My Favourite Quote of the Year
“A Wise Girl Knows Her Limits. A Smart Girl Knows She has None”.
If there is one thing that this year has taught me is that we set our boundaries. We are our own limitations and that it’s up to us, and us alone to ensure that we are happy and successful. And those two things may be very different for me, and very different for you. It’s why we cannot fall into the comparison trap or judge others. We are responsible for our own happiness.
The people I had the most fun with
This year was definitely a year that I’ve made more effort harnessing friendships. Reaching out to people I don’t know well and generally making myself vulnerable and open to new experiences.
Evening coffee dates with Charmaine, secret sweat dancing with Dom, lunches while recovering from my knee op with Adrienne and sneaky quick lunches with Robyn and Sam. I squeezed in time wherever I could between studies to see these awesome ladies that each have had an impact on my life the past year. I urge you to make time for those people in your life that inspire, motivate and allow you to be you.
Something I learnt about myself
As the title of this blog implies, this year was definitely a year of growth. Through new career moves, attempting the impossible with my studies and challenging the status quo in my daily job.
I learnt that I can actually change old damaging habits that’s been haunting me through a lifetime of manipulative misconceptions of my worth, who I am. I’ve shown to the world that I can be level headed, logical and above all, I’ve recognized my worth and played towards my strengths. I’ve recognized that I am way more capable than I ever thought.
This has been both a blessing and a curse as I am learning to let go of the hurt and aiming to heal the wounds that was constantly scratched open by someone else. Trying to forget the past but also empowering myself with the tools to deal with the future. Grow through what you go through indeed.
Thing I am most grateful for in 2018
The support that I’ve received from my significant other has been the most important playing card this year. Late nights of studying and working while he remained stressed at first, then unemployed for a few months. Our marriage was tested but through teamwork we are stronger than ever. I am grateful that I’ve married my best friend and that I am still able to have the space I need to grow but also have the fun of young love when we’re together.
The Greatest Lesson I learnt
This one is hard as I most recently started the journey to healing after discovering a ground breaking and harsh truth about my upbringing. I’ve learnt how certain circumstances have shaped my responses to external stimulus and I am learning how to deal with the fact that all along there was nothing wrong with me. That I am good enough.
My Fondest Memory of 2018
A trip to the Maldives was definitely high up on the memory list. The blue ocean, quiet beach, snorkelling and swimming each day, all with my best friend by my side was a dream come true. I could never have imagined that I would ever be visiting such a beautiful destination but we took a chance and for a change splurged. It was worth every cent.
My Most Challenging Time
Coming to terms with the fact that what society sees as the single most important relationship in your life since birth, was not a feature in my life. To be honest, it is still a challenge and I am trying my best to heal, to listen and to read up as much as I can to help myself. Knowledge is after all power.
What I overcame
Doubting myself, my abilities and my skill set. I’ve learnt to accept my accomplishment with humility and take the credit when it’s given. And when it’s not, to stand up for myself especially when others were ready to walk over me.
I overcame my biggest fear of writing a case study exam for CIMA and even managed to pass it when I was convinced I failed. I’ve always believed that hard work pays off eventually and should have listened to the advice that I’m always willing to dish out.
The thing I am sad to leave behind
I’ve worked with an amazing team this past year and the support and mentorship I received helped me to grow into the next level of my career. Slowly opening conversations with family and friends have showed me that I don’t have to feel lonely, and I am absolutely grateful for those that have encouraged me to strive for my dreams. Leaving such great people behind is difficult but I comfort myself in the fact that I have made friendships that will positively last.
The hardest decision I made
Was also the easier as I received an opportunity to work at a company that I’ve been following for a few years, whose values are in line with my own. Not that I even hated my job this year at all, I absolutely loved it but I do believe that we have to take opportunities and risk the disruption to our lives, than forever living with regrets and what ifs.
My health and fitness journey
For me this was my first full year of training at home and I absolutely loved it. The comfort and convenience, the freedom to move when and how I want has added so much value to my journey. I’ve tried new programs, challenged myself to run more and lift more, and I feel I’ve accomplished what I wanted physically.
Body neutrality is still very important to me and I am allowing myself to go through the ups and downs with my body. Not to judge my exterior or my internal thoughts to harshly, and also recognizing that I am allowed to have fun and feel fluffy, but also get back on track because my body feels better when I fuel it with nutritious food.
Mentally I’ve managed to deal with a lot of stress through a combination of exercise and support from great people around me. Of course I’ve had many sleepless nights, cried my eyes out on several occasions and felt like giving up. But I also became more levelheaded, calm and focusing on responding with respect and love.